When I was a teenage girl I was very promiscuous and so there is a burning passion inside of me to speak to teenage girls about purity.
When I see these girls and even women my age giving themselves away to sexual behaviors, I wish I could rescue them out of that deadly pit. It upsets me so much to hear from my own teenage son how easily it is to get into a girls pants.
“Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy” (Romans 13:13, NIV).
My husband always says, “If the girl would tell the boy “no” the boy will usually respect their wishes to wait.” He waited to have sex with me.
Sex was certainly distorted from my youth. I was sexually molested by a step dad. I was raped by multiple boys in a gang rape, and I was sexually, and physically abused by my ex-husband.
I remember putting on the short skirt, the sleeveless halter tops along with the heels and make-up. I knew how to strut my stuff. I wanted so bad to be loved. I wanted so bad to noticed. I understand how the young ladies think.
I get so upset when I see them strutting their stuff because I feel completely helpless to rescue them from that pool of promiscuity. They are drowning in despair. I want to throw them the lifeline that I found in Jesus. He rescues us from the pit. He loves them so much, but how will they hear unless I/you tell them.
When we have sex before marriage, we are basically saying that the other person is not worth the wait. It all becomes very selfish, and then when sex is one sided it is not satisfying. It may satisfy for the moment, but the after effects of the heart are painful.
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18, NIV).
Sex inside of marriage is such a beautiful and intimate moment between a husband and a wife. I can say that now.
When I was previously married, it was with someone I allowed to take me into his bed the second night of seeing each other. We didn’t start out right at all. He was cheating on his girlfriend with me, and that became the cycle of our long term relationship. From day two, I never felt valued. I always felt used and dirty. I wanted to leave him many times but I felt stuck. I would believe his words that he loved me. But I never felt as special as he claimed I was to him. His actions spoke louder than words.
The abuse started when I refused to do things that I didn’t feel comfortable doing. It was so bad I sought help numerous times, and we would have many break ups throughout while having three children. They are all seven years apart because of the many times of separation. But because we had children together it wasn’t as easy to split ways. We continued sowing and reaping wrath upon each other whenever we were together, but the sex didn’t stop. It was his power over my emotions that made me so vulnerable.
I eventually had all I could take after a two year long affair that he was having with another woman. One day I went to her house. “I want to talk to my husband,” I said.
“You can’t always get what you want, Jodie.” She stood on the porch with her arms crossed.
It was my last straw. I threw every item that belonged to him out the back door. Three days later, he tried to butter me up with those sweet words of repentance. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do it,” he said.
How many times had I heard those words? Not this time. This was it.
“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand” (Psalm 40:2, NIV).
My healing process began the day he left in 2004. I was done with dirty deeds. Finally I was able to learn more about purity. I would learn how to keep myself locked up as a garden sealed until the day when God would send me someone who would respect my desire to wait until the wedding.
It took three years for God to heal and build me up from the shattered rubble of my life pieces. I remained married but separated until 7/7/07. You can hear more of that story from my book. Nevertheless, God healed my heart, and helped me to forgive him for everything that he did to me and our children. I forgave to the point where we have been able to be friends.
I talk so much about my past because there are so many women/girls who need to know that there is a redemptive way for anyone with the same or similar story. It is mind boggling to hear and see so many women in bondage to unhealthy and even harmful relationships. I wish I could encourage these women. All of them. I won’t be content to just reach the one. I have to reach more. The unhealthy choices these women/girls are making are literally leading not only them astray but also their children and our teenage boys. I know there is a ton of material out there teaching purity but I want to get personal with these women. I want to be the book they read. I am a life changed and they can be too.
God is pure! He called us to be pure. He made me pure. When I suspected that the Lord was bringing a new man into my life. I went to both my pastors who I have been accountable to, and who have kept watch over my life, and asked them to interview this man. Pastor Chad would always jokingly, yet protectively say, “He is a weasel.” Until the day that this wonderful man of God sat with both pastors to get their approval to date me. Then I got a thumbs up from them both. I was not messing around. I wanted only who God had in mind for me. God had me in His thoughts when He created this man.
When you suspect the Lord is introducing a new man into your life, seek counsel. Choose pastors who hold you accountable and watch over your life. Ask your pastor to interview him to find out if “He is a weasel.”
I am not ashamed to say what I have come out of. I am a new creation. I was given a second chance to do the right thing with the right man. Sex has never been better!
Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
If you are interested in Jodie coming to speak to the teen girls or women of your church, please fill out the form and submit. Jodie or someone from her team will get back to you promptly.